Finding a smile...

For the month of November I spent every weekend writing assignments and surrounded by me, myself and I for almost the entire weekend. I began to feel a bit lonely but I knew if I did surround myself with people I would be too distracted and get no work done. 

Both these quiet weekends and my morning bus journey to college every day I started to appreciate the little moments in my days that would make me smile. No matter how stressed I was, trying to complete assignments and having a million and one other things to finish up before the end of the semester I made a conscious effort to find a smile in every day. There’s something about laughing and smiling that brings me back to childhood and how carefree you are as a kid.

There is no better stress relief than laughter, even noticing little things in your day that take you out of your panicked state of mind and allow you to relive moments of being carefree. Over the past few months I have witnessed so many things that made me smile, happenings that restored my faith in humanity, moments that pulled at my heartstrings and glimpses into other people’s worlds, especially the world of a child.

There is something I love so much about when people say thank you to the bus drivers on Dublin bus, it seems to not matter how distracted, zoned out or in a rush people are, almost everyone says ‘Thank you’, ‘Cheers’, ‘Thanks’ as they get off the bus and their days begin or end. The simple gesture of someone allowing me to go through a door or off a bus before them is another thing makes me smile and reaffirms that we the human race haven’t become completely self-absorbed! 

I noticed a few weekends ago as I walked down Grafton Street having been treated to dinner by my sister that in almost every door way there were homeless people with nothing between them and the cold, hard ground but a thin sleeping bag or cardboard. My heart sinks every time I pass over a person who is homeless. I did however feel a sense of relief when I saw volunteers with clothes, blankets and hot food. As people queued to get their food I noticed one rather thin and weather beaten face cracking a semi-toothless smile as he was handed a cup of hot soup and the words ‘God bless ya love’ passed his lips in thanks to the woman who was doing her part in something we all should be involved in in reality. 

Just before Christmas I got a taxi to the bus station in Belfast the taxi driver made sure I was going to catch my bus despite the crazy Christmas traffic in Belfast, and I did make it. After a chat about Irish and how beautiful Donegal is he went above and beyond when my bank card wouldn’t validate the payment for the taxi and all I had on me was about half the fare which he said ‘would do’. He didn’t have to do that, he could have insisted I went and got money out which is exactly what I would have offered. I find it funny, in the best way possible how things such as Ireland and tírghrá or the love of our country brings out the best in people. 

In the midst of the stress of rushing for a bus home he didn’t let anything get in the way of me catching that bus. Also in Belfast as I wandered around the shops there were several young buskers but the one that caught my attention and made me smile was a little boy, dressed as Michael Jackson, with not the best dance moves in the world, dancing his little heart out to raise money for the Children’s Hospital. How thoughtful and selfless for a child to do this, and a reminder to us all to be charitable!

Last weekend at Christmas day Mass there was a gorgeous little girl who is adopted from China and happens to have Down syndrome sitting in the aisle opposite me with her father. She sat patiently through mass cuddling and kissing her Belle doll gently on the forehead. She would occasionally look up and just smile, her smile was infectious!

As ridiculous as it may sound but starting your day with a smile can often lead to a day in a positive mind-set. Look for those little things in your day that can give you a laugh or make you smile. Surround yourself with people who make you laugh and whose presence brings a smile to your face.

 Dxo

Learning to juggle...

I really must learn to juggle, and by that I don’t mean so I can join a circus, more so I can run the circus that is my life a little better.

Although being at college has been the happiest time of my life it has also been the busiest. Although I haven’t had as many hours of lectures as you would expect at University I tend to fill every other waking moment with other things. I am on two society committees both of which have a weekly meeting, at least one event every week and planning and organising to be done in the mean-time. I also jump at almost every opportunity I am given, partly because I understand the importance of seizing every moment in life but also because I hate letting people down. I am not suggesting I should be praised for how I live such a busy life. I bring it upon myself and I really wouldn’t have it any other way. I dive head first into everything I do before I realise I am drowning a little bit!

Although this life at college keeps me occupied, meeting new people and trying new things it can often snowball rapidly and cause me to become quite stressed. Stress for me is something that gets me into a rut. I get stressed because I have lots to do, be that assignments, society stuff or just mundane tasks. When I am stressed I become incapable of doing anything and tend to procrastinate which just adds to my stress as I am getting nothing done to reduce the amount I have on my plate that caused the stress in the first place. Although I know that the cycle happens to me I find it hard to overcome until I am anything from a few days to a few weeks into high levels of stress. I also find when I am stressed I become quite anxious, about anything and everything. I also have recently started getting social anxiety, although I have never been a fan of big groups of people in the past year and a half I have had to leave these situations more often than not because of a feeling of panic that consumes me in the moment.

I have noticed in the most recent stint of stress I have been stuck in there were a number of factors, what seemed like a mountain of assignments that I couldn’t even look at, pressure from myself to make sure the society I am chairperson of is maintaining its success from last year and lastly feeling unhappy in myself because of my lack of effort to work out and keep fit. Although I could say I just simply don’t have time to workout I know that isn’t true. 24 hours in a day there is 30 minutes somewhere in there for a workout. I was really good about making this time at the beginning of my first year of college but as my schedule got busier I got lazier. When I don’t workout I am more tired, more likely to get colds, eat less healthy and drink less water, my mind is cluttered and I feel like I’ve stepped into a slower moving, uncomfortable body that I keep hoping isn’t mine.

I keep on top of my schedule and I am very good about writing lists and planning my week but the only things that get done seem to be the things that other people are relying on me for, not the things I am doing for me. I need to take more time for me to do what I need to get done, assignments, workout and just time to look after myself to stop these all too frequent ruts of stress and anxiety. There was no better cure last night than a freezing night walk to capture Dublin by night!

I even decided last weekend that I would book a fashion shoot of me for my blog for mid December to motivate myself. I really thought it would give me the kick I needed to get myself back in shape and feeling better mentally, physically and emotionally but a week has passed and I haven’t done anything differently. I’m not sure how I can write a blog post on body confidence and body positivity when I do not feel it at the moment. Writing all this down here will help me I think to hold myself accountable and if I’m not in the right head space in a few weeks when I want to post about body confidence I won’t because I’d be lying to myself.

I need to learn to say no to people when I am feeling overwhelmed.

Make time for me and get shit (Sorry mammy) done!

Take a step back if I need to, give myself a chance to recharge.

Don’t be so hard on myself, life isn’t perfect so everything I don can’t be either.

Back to this level of happy please!

(David Gannon Photography)

I am a creative person and I am quick to volunteer myself for so many different things when a light bulb lights up in my head and I have an idea I want to run with. As I said to my friends mum once, my brain as was hers is a string of fairy lights and just one single light bulb that lights up!

Dxo

From Bratislava with love...

6:45am....alarm goes off and for a moment I wonder what ungodly hour this is and then I remember I'm off on another adventure, putting another pin prick on my map of the world. I then proceeded to get dressed with one eye still closed holding onto a final few moments of sleep. Stepping outside the air was crisp and cold and as we walked to the bus stop my brain was rudely awoken by the bitterly cold air.

7:50am....pulling into the airport always brings about several emotions for me, I'm always a little bit anxious but also excited, two feelings that tend to go hand in hand I suppose. 

8am....and the glorious aroma of coffee as we walk through the airport calls my name and there's nothing for it but a Venti Starbucks before we make our way to the gate.

9.10am....and we are finally boarding, unexpectedly busy but we have some how managed to have an entire row to ourselves.

1pm....Slovakian time, hours have passed and we have done nothing but chat and catch eachother up on the past almost 2 years of our lives.

1:30pm...bus hoping to make our way across the city to our apartment.

3pm....we have finally made it to our humble abode for the night and after a quick change, makeup touch up and a spritz of perfume we are ready to explore at last.

We struggled slightly to make our way around the city but eventually having wandered for a while stopping at different stalls and shops we began our hunt for some Slovakian or at least Eastern European dinner.

We found a pub/restaurant down a cobbled street and decided to have a look, quickly realizing there wasn't another soul in the place we decided a drink would be the best idea and then find somewhere else for dinner. The beer was lovely and brewed in their own brewery, the Monastic Brewery.

Perhaps at a different time of day there would have been more of a crowd there for food and more of a guarantee of good grub.

We wandered on and found Divny Janko. Having to request in English was the first promising sign in my mind, if this was where the locals ate, we may just have struck gold. We decided to split our orders to try a few different things and ended up ordering chicken in a creamy mushroom sauce with stewed rice, chicken schnitzel, with boiled potatoes and last but not least sauerkraut! The food was delicious and such comfort food. We then split an ice cream Sunday and had an espresso each to keep us going for a few more hours after our early start. The interior of this restaurant was also amazing, with an arched roof, brick walls and bathrooms down in what looked like caves it was quite the experience.

 

After a delicious dinner we followed Trip Advisor’s advice once again and went to Uisce Beatha Irish bar which again proved quite tricky to find! However, there weren’t many there and it wasn’t the experience of an Irish bar abroad I have seen in places like Brussels. It was a nice little bar though with seats for no more than 20, so for a cosy night it Uisce Beatha is perfect!

We then made our way down a cobbled streets directed by the one and only Google Maps to another Irish bar that other than its mini thatched roof cottages in the smoking area and as the entrance to the bathroom didn’t have much of an Irish feel about it either. We stayed there for one last drink and then headed back to the apartment for an early enough night to make the most of our morning the next day before flying home.

On our way to a taxi we came across the Oldtown which is what we had been looking for all evening to we made sure to take note of where it was to go and explore it the next day.

7am….once again an early start, this time to go on the hunt for our last supper (breakfast) in Bratislava.

With the help of our trusty tour guide Google, we found our way back to the Oldtown and found Mondieu. With cakes and pastries filling their windows we couldn’t walk past. The menu was overwhelming and choosing was almost impossible! Everything from the freshly squeezed orange juice to the avocado on sourdough with sundried tomatoes was delicious and their coffee was amazing, so amazing in fact that I bought a bag of their Brazilian blend!

 

We then spend our final few hours looking in the gift shops and treating ourselves to a new Caprisa handbag each.

11:30am….Heading back to the airport we agreed that it wasn’t a city we wished we had more time in for the fact that there didn’t seem to be a lot to do and it wasn’t very lively. The people were friendly, the food was great but the city it’s self was quite dull and rundown.

No.1 Tip: Download both Uber and 5€ Taxi apps. Uber cost us only €6 from the Oldtown to the airport, which was a 20 minute drive and 5€ Taxi was very handy to get around the city when we didn’t know our way.

4pm….So 33 hours later, another country has been ticked off the list, my goal to be spontaneous and venture outside my comfort zone between 20 and 21 is being fulfilled and I had such a wonderful time catching up with a great friend.

Dxx

Patience is a virtue I do not possess...

patience

ˈpeɪʃ(ə)ns/

noun

1. 1.

   the capacity to accept or tolerate delay, problems, or suffering without becoming annoyed or anxious.

Patience is a virtue I do not naturally possess. However, in recent years photography has taught me patience as nature does not dance to anyone else's tune. In a split second you can capture or miss the most spectacular photo. Waiting for a sun to set or for a wave to crash gives me reason to sit still if only for a moment waiting for the perfect opportunity to press the button.

When I go out with my camera I feel as though life moves slower as I take in my surroundings and keep an eye out for a photo opportunity. As soon as I have my camera in my hand I feel as though I fall into another world where the most beautiful aspects of my surroundings stand out and the dreary weather, dilapidated buildings and noises of a bustling city fall into the background.

I am usually the type of person that likes to be time efficient and constantly on the go, with places to be and things to tick off my To- Do List. Escaping to the world of photography is a nice change from this mind set as when I am taking photos I am done simply when I have captured all I want to and am eagerly anticipating importing them to my laptop for some touch ups and a closer look.

At the end of the summer I tried my hand at film photography which requires a lot of patience and forward planning as you have a lot of setting up to do and then quite a bit of waiting to endure as you wait for people to move out of shot or for a break in traffic. It did stress me slightly because of the restriction of only having a certain number of shots on a roll of film and the waiting period before you actually get to see them.

Growing up in Donegal where I was surrounded by mountains, beaches and forests the majority of my earlier photography involved scenes in nature which produce breath-taking with very little effort! However patience is something that you require a large scoop of as you wait for the most spectacular wave to crash or as you follow insects and bugs as the flit from flower to flower to capture them at work.

I have found a new love of city photography, finding the beauty amongst the haze of pollution and eruption of car horns and shouting as commuters make their way through the city and street vendors announce their deals of the day to the passers-by.  I get a feeling of such excitement when I find hidden gems in the city having ventured off the beaten track.

By day Dublin is a melting pot of cultures and languages, by night Dublin becomes a melting pot of colours as light cascades from buildings, bridges and the never ceasing traffic.

Taking photos of family, especially little cousins, it is nearly impossible to capture them in moments when they are in the depths of their imagination or in their own little world.

(Little cousins discussing whether or not they could swim to the other side of the beach or some other equally sophisticated topic captured from a far so as to not interrupt the discussion and beautifully capturing a moment of calm between brothers.)

There were a string of photos before this one where either the bubble had burst too soon or my little cousin was doing the classic little kid thing of grinning madly at the camera which although adorable was not quite what I was looking to capture. 

I have now done two shoots which were more about completing a task than for enjoyment. One was for the boxing club in DCU. I had envisioned incredible action shots but what transpired was a lot of blurry images and me feeling rather stressed! Just this weekend I shot photos behind the scenes at a fashion show which ended up being a rare occasion in which the joy and peace that photography usually brings me disappeared within seconds of stepping into the building.

 I could never do photography as a career, that would entail people expecting great photos as opposed to it just being for fun and if I'm not happy with the outcome of any of my shots I'm not letting anyone down, which is something I cannot bare to ever do. Photography has to be an escape from me, a world in which to relax and live a slower paced life even if only for a few hours. 

(Other moments of patience have been finding perfect symetry, capturing animals that are rather photogenic and ensuring the perfect focus points.)

Dxx